originally typo-graphed as a substack september 23, 2025 published 6:40 pm in attempts to "widen my viewer base"
not that much of a fan
if i be no fan guess my attempts were rather shallow
and if i be a shallow fan swimming should be easy
and drowning hard
keyword should
though i don't like others swimming in my head

but i think its important to let some swim in their
just not make a rip current

it took me a long time to learn to really make things for myself
and there i went again calling over the ol' picket-fence
there has to be a will to pass through let alone turn the head and hear
and from my expierance
the head seldom turns
let alone hears
which is unfortunate since these heads have names
and music being largely not about music at all
same goes for everything else
making music is everything
why am i desperate to get that across
a sense or "guilt" of "having a message"
make the horse drink..
balloons fly when you drop the string
disheveling then suffocate once they leave the atmosphere

most of this stems from mid-october's no king protests here in usa; 
members of my family not "getting the point"
"disrupting the working-man"
"nothing wrong with protesting but go do it in a park or something"
"aren't these local officials, mayors, governors etc. aren't they kings? closing down important roads and businesses for these need-less demonstrations?"
people have to be "receptive" 
tune the attenae
on the other hand why make a bunch of noise in an empty field?
took me what feels like a millenia to realize that it just feels good.
is there a message?
people get to know you when you're around them
however they choose

christ the king or drunk loon

red symbolizes;
anger, fury, hatred
"right-wing"
danger
heat, fire
passion
courage 
blood
sacrifice
wine
change....
...........
look to the leaves, scarlet cloak, crosses and beams, murder and martyr
party needs no occasion
no celebration
a bath can be blood
warm or cold
warm and cold
acceptance is surrender
surrender is peace
can be
?
!

chameleon den chameleon den 
reptile's child is a child

don't let me tell you anything
one step closer to objectivity
if that's your goal

It’s fun losing quarters

no place to lie the head

quartz quilt chasing gazes at spit shine stars

such is our truth

over-reaching locking hands tethered souly to the darkness captive behind the eyes

polka-dot peak the boo beacon etching mountain men before the mountain fully grows

for falling the everlasting

crumbling of the soft hands known snow

forebear boats float respond to each rainbow flicker

however prefer thine gold four-leaf cardinal ink dwelling pulse of a once, were, where, to, now. 

apple trees.

seasons seen seldom felt

seasons felt seldom seen.

such is.

remarkable

an era is a lexicon, a lexicon arbitrary symbols. 
taken for granted experiences light behind the hind-sight eye. 
“Midwest Emo” from what I gather from people who were in the same room as Gauge, Friction, Christie Front Drive, 
Boys Life, Ordination of Aaron, Split-Lip (Chamberlin), Cap’n Jazz, . 
I’m going to throw Sideshow into this goulash…was a term to primarily denote “X is from the Midwest". 
Geography; I got a 13 or something like that on my U.S. Geography State Capital test. 
I always found it funny my teacher took the time to grade it after gleaning over “so far half of this is wrong.” 
All downhill from here I appreciate that Mr. F. 
I also assume this is around the time “emo” wasn’t as much as a dirty word and was being sort of “embraced” by these next wave of bands who looked up to SDRE, Quicksand, Fugazi, Indian Summer, Jara, Hoover, Lincoln, dischord recs, ebullition bands etc. 

[UPDATE:10/19/2025 1:50pm] for the hind-sight perpetual genre evolution"you forgots"; rainer maria, the spirit of versailles, everyone asked about you, sidekick kato, braid...
"nah they're screamo"
"nah they're indie"
"nah we're hardcore"
"nah they're from wisconsin"
tick-tick on the watch
tick-tick on the blackberry
tick-tick on the smartphone
differen't spots manilla folders in the file cabinet
that stays locked shut to those who have a key
complain about having it rather than opening "expierances"
i can't spell 

Being a “Midwest emo” band at this time (early mid 90s) had nothing to do with a specific shared pop prep “sonic sweater” (initially). 
clearly stating: your band played/participated in the hardcore/punk scene, 
you were from Minnesota, and didn’t sound like Earth Crisis, Strife, Madball or Ten Yard Fight. 

Also side note; I am no way an “authority” of this manner. Just speaking rather typing not saying I’m correct. 
Tracing this forever tangling amorphous thread around us is both incredibly pedantic/irritating and a thrilling expedition age of discovery 
encompassing each and everyone of us who loves(hates) this “sub-culture”. 
Nor do I want to even attempt to give a full “history evolution” of this micro genre of a niche genre of a branch of punk. 
It’s above all an experience, to me at least. Especially since I was born in 95’. 
And wasn’t there to have my own stories standing in the back of a sweatbox with tears in my eyes watching Texas Is the Reason, and then the Promise Ring rip out A Picture Postcard.
 And then Lifetime comes on as my jaw slags smashes the floor and my teeth are embers sparking in the room. 
Besides the point, history, culture, genre are all penned after the fact; 
If I were Xerxes I, of course I’m going to say “uh, we had a tummy ache.” “slipped and fell into a ravine.” in the Persian account of the Battle of Thermopylae. 
We’re bound by time, and time waits for no one. 

sparknotes: the Promise Ring, the Appleseed Cast, the Get Up Kids, Jimmy Eat World, 2001 emo mainstream, exposure of bands, scene, 
music everything in it to everyone new gen of kids and folks, hear these “archaic” tags, 
words and phrases resulting in “a new” association and definitions (some would say incorrectly) of terms, 
groups such as “Midwest Emo” with a more catchy, pop-focused skewed slanted odd-one stilted inward window gazer shimmer, 
giving way to more bands “not from the midwest”. similar to NYHC. as SDRE still huge many call them and similar sounding bands “midwest emo”, 
American Football, the Jim Yoshii Pile-up, Stillwell, Benton Falls, Forty-Nine Hudson, The Summer We Went West, Audience of One, Make Me, Halfway to Holland, 
oh my god elephant, Algernon Cadwallader, Snowing, Empire! Empire! (I Was a Lonely Estate) 
Merchant Ships, Glocca Morra, “emorevival”, philly, Marietta, Camping in Alaska, Girl Scouts, Mallard, Count Your Lucky Stars, 
Modern Baseball, Old Grey, Counter Intuitive, Prince Daddy and the Hyena, Pictures of Vernon, Macseal, Mom Jeans, Charmer, Origami Angel, 
Your Arms Are My Cocoon, Guitar Fight From Fooly Cooly, Ogbert the Nerd, Oolong, suneater records… here we are present day →Ben Quad, Pool Kids, Arm’s Length..

this show is practically a perfect family portrait of “modern” Midwest Emo. 
Missing in frame are the midwest emo twinkly inspired screamo/skramz bands Your Arms Are My Cocoon, Vs. Self, godfuck. 
As well as the more “2nd wave” inspired bands my point of you, First Day Back who are a tad more “tasteful” arguably actually “writing songs” as supposed to tapping incoherent tornadoes that unfortunately plague a lot of bands of this niche. 
And the more “math rock” ttng side to me is where Ben Quad falls though just a taste, as well as the newer Origami Angel, 
Aren’t we Amphibians some of the other bands out of the west coast scene vs. self records. 

(the last band is sports. they came out with it like a month ago when the above flyer dropped, 10 years of Demon Daze, crazy.)

that’s pretty much it on my mind. call it whatever you want whatever helps the checkmark. 
interesting lines in the sand and echoes in the shell up to my ear. 
before I drown I wish to leave you with a few of my favorite “Midwest Emo” bands of today.
(by no means exclusive/sole definition)

Lavender Point
mccloud
Holidays in United States
Exit 109
Violet the First Time
Heavy Sweater
in shining armour
writing home about you
human ant farm
Forktail
Meathead
Rec League

world stops when you do
world goes on without you

categore-ies sacrifice fullfilled
looking at me through the mirror
pinching 
music breathes in empty rooms
without a place to become a sound
an ear

do my best to remember
doing better to let be

thank you for you're time
never "waste" it :)